There are many things that inspire me to write, yet there is one thing that more than inspires me to put pen to paper, and that is music.  Music propels every word, keeps the rhythm of writing, and  drowns out distractions of everyday life.   Music gives me the freedom to pour my heart out onto paper,  and helps me feel what the characters are feeling.  My music choices, though in the past have been a bit random, are now carefully chosen to go along with the story's flow and mood. This webpage is another way for you to peek into my creative processes, and take away from it what you want.

Castle of Death

As with Going Down Memory Lane, there's a bit of backstory that goes along with Castle of Death. I wrote Castle of Death, during one of the most difficult times in my life.  In 1997, my paternal grandma was diagnosed with cancer and was dying.  It was the first time I ever experienced the death of someone I was close to and knew well, so I dealt with it in what some might consider an unusual way: I embraced horror and the concept of death.

Ever since I was little, maybe 5 years-old and on, I loved the horror genre in movies and books. I used to read Daniel Cohen books a lot of the time when I was 8 years-old, along with the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark by Alvin Schwartz. Although these were written for children, they did reveal a lot of things that most children probably wouldn't learn about until they were older. I remember asking my dad what "embalming" meant when I was 8 years-old. When it came to movies, I remember loving The Monster Squad and Lost Boys and Poltergeist from the time I was 5 or 6. The Monster Squad was the first time I ever saw the "classic" monsters, like Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, the Wolf Man, the Mummy, and so forth. It began my lifelong love of these creatures, who would probably frighten most children. For whatever reason, I always wanted the monsters to win in the end.

I am making a point here; I'm just taking my sweet time doing so.  The year my grandma got sick, I started writing Castle of Death, and the monsters brought me a great deal of comfort. Maybe it was because they represented immortality, which of course, humans will never have. It was also a fantasy world I could escape into when things got overwhelming or difficult to face.  I know many people like to avoid any sort of death topics when a loved one is dying, but I instead wanted to write about it, along with pain and suffering and just horror in its various forms.  Turning 14 years-old that year, I was still very young and inexperienced when it came to death, and I handled it the best way I could. I still felt sad and confused and angry and all the other emotions that go along with death, but I was able to express a lot of them in writing.

The reason for sharing all this, is that when I wrote Castle of Death, I didn't just listen to some of my favorite halloween songs, but also to some very sad songs. In many ways I associated sadness with horror, where previous I would've just associated fun, harmless scares with horror.  The songs I listened to that were more on the "fun" side, were "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett (a halloween classic), "Thriller" by Michael Jackson, "Spooky" by the Classics IV, "Witchy Woman"  and "Hotel California" by The Eagles, "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedance Clearwater Revival, "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon, and "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult.

Let me start out with "Hotel California", because it sort of started it all.  I was sitting in my maternal grandma's apartment while my parents were out, and I was listening to my Eagles Hell Freezes Over CD.  At that time, it was April of 1997,  and I had wanted to write a book about classic monsters, without it being a carbon copy of monster movies and books that were already out. So I was sitting in the living room with my cd walkman, and "Hotel California" came on. I loved that song (and still do), because it was so whimsical and spooky, and the setting was awesome.  In fact, originally I was going to set the monsters in a hotel/bed and breakfast type of place, inspired by "Hotel California", but decided against it for one reason or another. Anyway! I was still trying to figure out the plot for the monster book, with almost a separate focal point away from the classic monsters or the victims. Something that stood on its own. And that's when Don Henley sang, "They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast." And for some reason, I immediately pictured the beast as I described it in my book; this massive, animalistic monstrous creature created by these "famous" monsters, just to up the ante.

At that moment, I needed to start writing Castle of Death, so I asked my maternal grandma for some paper. She had one piece of 6 x 9 peach-colored paper, and I began to write the opening scene of Teddy and Diana and their children driving in the pouring rain and spotting the castle. That was all that fit on that first piece of paper, but the seeds were planted.    

Since I was working on another book at the time, I didn't continue Castle of Death until June of 1997.  I had a mixed tape of an array of songs that at the time seemed very randomly chosen, but looking back I probably knew somewhere in my mind why I was choosing the songs I was choosing. In fact it's seems very clear to me now, looking at the tape which I still have for sentimental purposes. To this day I have difficulty listening to these songs (apart from the "Halloween songs"), because it takes me back to the pain of losing my grandma. For the sake of this page, I will listen to it, but then I probably won't listen to it again for about another 10 years if not longer.

The first song on the tape is "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy. Without spoiling anything in the book, I'll just comment that this song went well with the sadder parts, since it's about a loved one dying.

The next song is "Push" by Matchbox 20. This song expresses a lot of anger, and the lyrics went well with the relationship between Eripmav and Wilda. Although they aren't romantically involved, they are a team, and they both have anger towards each other. Eripmav wants to keep Wilda in line and under his thumb, while Wilda resents that and also his betrayal throughout the book.

"In The Year 2525" by Zager and Evans is next on the playlist. To be honest, this doesn't specifically pertain to any certain part of the book. The song is creepy unto itself.

Moving right along, the next songs are "Zombie" and "When You're Gone" by The Cranberries. "Zombie" is a song I associate with Halloween, even though the lyrics are actually about war. War is of course the ultimate horror, so this song is very powerful. When I hear it, I feel like Dolores O'Riordan (the lead singer of the Cranberries) sounds so desperate, angry, and frustrated about the state of things, and it reminds me of Diana in Castle of Death. The desperation to save her children consumes her.  And then in "When You're Gone", this goes back to "I'll Be Missing You", and losing someone you love and facing that pain. I knew when I started writing Castle of Death that characters were going to die, not just because it was a horror novel, but because I needed to deal with death myself. Again, I don't want to spoil anything, but I think you'll understand what I mean when you read the book. And if you already read the book, hopefully you do understand what I mean.

"Don't Fear The Reaper" comes on next, which is actually mentioned in my book.  In my opinion, it's one of the funnest songs that I associate with Halloween, because it has great lyrics which aren't silly and the music is upbeat despite what the song is about. It does seem like it would be an anthem for monsters, and that's why I mentioned it in my book above other songs.

These next two songs are back to the sadness factor. They're "Near You Always" and "Adrian" by Jewel. These are obscure choices, I know, but I'll do my best to explain.  "Near You Always" was sort of Henrietta's theme song I felt. I always interpreted  the song as being about a woman who loves a man who maybe treats her badly or just isn't good for her for whatever reason, but she's kind of addicted to him, so she doesn't want him to be around her. I hope that made some sense. The whole first verse really reminds me of Henrietta,  because even though Eripmav doesn't love her he strings her along to keep that power over her and she can't really help herself. The line "Don't think you realize the effect you have over me, and please don't look at me like that; it just makes me want to make you near me always", really pinpoints her feelings, because Eripmav treats her so badly and yet she can't stop loving him.  

As for "Adrian", the lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with Castle of Death. When I heard the song for the first time, it was the most disturbing song I had ever heard up to that point. I dwelled on the lyrics to the point that I was compelled to listen to the song over and over again, before I ever started writing Castle of Death. The song almost haunted me, and I felt like the more I listened to it, the faster I would sort of feel desensitized to it, which did end up happening eventually. I used to cry every time I heard it, without fail, although I'm sure it didn't help that I was listening to it as my grandma was dying. Anyway, when I was writing Castle of Death, and needed to name the vampire brides, I thought of "Adrian", even though the song is about a boy, and I named Adrienne after the song, as just another way to come to terms with it.  The song is about a boy who is in a canoe accident, and remains in a coma for years. And there's a line that goes "He's got big hands, but the mind of a little boy." So when I developed the character of Adrienne, I decided to make her somewhat childlike and naive and innocent, despite her age and her vampirism, because that line of that song disturbed me more than any other line.  I know this seems like a needlessly complex way of doing things, but it was my way of coping with everything that was going on.

The last song on the tape that I'm going to talk about is "Rainy Days and Mondays" by The Carpenters. There isn't much backstory when it comes to this. I think there's a higher element of sadness associated with The Carpenters' music because of the Karen Carpenter tragedy. For some reason, this song's lyrics epitomizes the sadness that goes along with loneliness and being an outcast, and just feeling out of sorts without being able to pinpoint why. I'm sure everyone can relate to that at some time in their life. So to me this song could be attached to any of the characters at any given time, in fact it could be attached to just about any character in any book or any movie. But in Castle of Death, I feel like it's best linked to Diana, who goes through a great deal in the book, including doing uncharacteristic things, and struggling not to give into hopelessness.   

The final song, which was not on the tape but one I had on a CD single, was "Building a Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan. This song for whatever reason really set the mood for this book. I used to put the CD on repeat just to listen to this song over and over again as I was writing. The lyrics are very abstract, and yet I really associate them with Eripmav. I feel like his character is "building a mystery" throughout the entire story, and he doesn't really give many hints as to his plans. He doesn't say a whole lot in general, he's very secretive, and he always seems to be this looming presence whether he's in the scenes or not.

Well, I think that about covers it.  I would like to say that I am in no way affiliated with the artists or songs that I have mentioned.  I'm simply an appreciator of good music.  If you are interested in any of the music mentioned, please visit the following links for purchasing information: